When I was little I loved coloring books and the peaceful occupation of trying to stay within the lines and playing with different colors. Recently I read a book on "staying sane in an insane world," and about coloring as a right brain and stress relieving activity for adults. Art therapy has of course been a thing for a few years, way beyond the Rorschach test. Now I understand the big deal about coloring books for adults and why you can find them in every bookstore. I bought one for myself.
Read moresweet far niente
Different cultures have different relationships with time. Our profit based culture is also a culture of never-enough and of lack (see an earlier post on scarcity as a state of mind, inclusive of time). We equate time with money, of which we never seem to have enough either, and hence we always seem to be short on time. A twenty-four hour day is never long enough, we are always under the impression that we could've or should've done more. We experience a constant race against time, and with it comes tremendous stress.
But time is a human construct. We made linear time up because we can't really wrap our minds around the new fangled and quantum informed concept of it all happening at the same time. Ask Einstein. We exist in this self-erected prison of a mental construct, and we built our economy and culture around it.
Imagine for a minute that you had all the time in the world. It might be a gift. It would be such a relief. Would you know what to do with it? It might also be a burden. Many of us need deadlines in order to accomplish tasks. Deadlines give us a linear path from here to there, and a clear sense of direction. But far-niente-cultures (far niente is Italian for doing nothing), those Southern cultures that know how to linger forever around an outdoor table with nothing else to do than stare into the distance while sipping something, lunch morphing into dinnertime, experience a lot less stress.
What if we really made it all up? What if we could let it go, at least temporarily, on weekends and on vacation? What is your relationship with time?
a breathless world
Patience is in short supply these days because we've been culturally trained to be impatient. Then corporations can charge to appease our impatience. With 2-day shipping from Amazon; with faster and faster internet service so the websites load faster and you can work faster; with microwave ovens to warm or cook your food faster; with pressure cookers so you can skip soaking your beans or watching the pot while you cook; and with wrinkle-free fabric so you no longer need to iron. There are even self-cleaning windows now. And you probably know that animals' growth rates are being pushed to the limits with grow hormones and special feed so they can be brought to slaughter faster and make money for their corporations faster.
But remember that the Concorde, the fastest plane ride over the Atlantic, failed; and that our push to get children to read, write and do math two years before their minds are actually mature enough, only leads to teachers' and children's frustration (read a recent post on that). Doing so many things faster and faster is not always the better. There is a limit to the monetary rewards when we become strung out emotionally and healthwise. There is a limit to how fast we can live, and it's showing - what with all the stress and anxiety in our culture.
We need leisure time. Our minds need a break. We need slow segments in between all that speed. Hence the popularity of meditation, but also retreats, pampering spas, and resort vacations with nothing to do but veg out at the pool.
Joel Salatin, the sustainable farmer philosopher I mentioned in a recent post, said that between 60 and 70% of his new farming apprentices are now disillusioned corporate drop-outs in their late twenties and early thirties. What race are you trying to win? Slow down, smell the roses, and give yourself a break. It's better for you.
the problem with convenience
"There is a problem with convenience," sustainable farmer and author Joel Salatin said during his keynote address at an event the other night, "because life is about being bothered."
The convenience of take-out or mail order meals takes away the "bother" of learning how to create a delicious meal from scratch, knowing what exactly goes into your meal (and hence your body), and where the ingredients actually come from. The convenience of buying all your groceries at the supermarket prevents you from asking deeper questions about the provenance of those supermarket eggs and the "bother" of buying them from a sustainable farmer, or keeping chickens yourself. The convenience of single-use plastic bags hushes over the inquiry into the environmental plastic scourge we as a culture have created, and the "bother" of bringing your reusable bags with you every time you go shopping.
But sitting on the beach all day long is only fun for so long. If everything in your life is "convenient" all the time you're not living deeply. Life is about doing because engaging with your surrounds gets you to reveal who you are through creative expression. You enact who you are through what you do.
Too much convenience, removing all engagement and obstacles, eliminates the opportunity to get your hands dirty and your mind working. That's why people are more creative the more restrictions they are presented with (I get a creative kick out of making a good meal out of the last few ingredients left in the fridge). And you know how children's creativity becomes activated when they're out in nature and only have sticks and stones to play with - they construct a float out of whatever they can find and imagination does the rest. Imagine coming along and bringing them a plastic boat....
Removing all "inconveniences" flattens life and dulls creativity. Working around "inconveniences," problems, and within restrictions is what life is all about. Be creative and love your inconveniences.
vision boarding
Vision boards may seem like such a passé thing. And if you simply paste a bunch of pictures on a board believing that that will automatically manifest in your life the McMansion or convertible you just cut out from a magazine, forget about it. But if you use it to actually work through what you want to manifest, or let go of, as a true clarification exercise - it can help tremendously. On top of it it's a fun creative project. So if you don't make enough time for play in your life this is a great way to have some creative fun and crystalize ideas that are floating around in your head while you're at it. Draw, cut and paste, doodle, play with materials - and try to express what's inside you waiting to come out.
Moreover, just like using lists as manifestation tools (see an earlier post how to manifest), putting something down on paper in the physical world, rather than keeping it floating around in your head, makes it - well yes, more physical, more defined - and helps to bring it into this world. Vision boarding can be a valuable solidification and clarification process, and while your rational mind shuts off during the artistic part of the process, it makes room for the no-mind creative space. When you're in the moment, in no-mind space, the universe can do its job of bringing you what you need.
Have you ever made a vision board?
the little things
It's the little things in life that count, probably more so than the big presents.
A few things come to mind - a surprise phone call from a long lost friend, watching a fox jump happily through the snow like a little kid (saw it from my office window the day after the snowstorm), a kind and helpful customer service person at a big organization (yep, happened a few days ago, lit up my morning), my husband setting a cup of tea or a glass of wine on my desk while I'm working, good news, a great find at a thrift store, a piece of chocolate, a small token of appreciation, twinkle lights.
Many of these are unexpected, many are not material, most cost nothing. What does that tell you? It's really easy to make people happy!!!!!!!! Say something nice. Show that you care. Bring something over. Find out how you can help. Be kind. That's all.
I love your coat!
The other day I crossed paths with a woman at the supermarket, or should I say lady, who was well dressed (no sweat pants or jeans), wore nice shoes (no sneakers), pleasantly subtle make-up (no just-got-out-of-bed face), and thoughtfully done hair (no quickly tied up pony tail to get the hair out of the way).
It showed that she cared, not only about herself but also about how she appeared to others. She stood out because she was different from all the other shoppers, in a positive way. I smiled spontaneously when I saw her. Her encounter also made me aware of how much my own behavior, my demeanor, my appearance influences others. Every time I wear this very colorful checkered coat several people smile at me and exclaim spontaneously, "Oh, I love your coat!."
I have come to the realization that I have to put out what I want coming back at me. If I want generosity to come back to me I need to be generous. If I want kindness to come back to me I need to smile at people more. When I wear that coat I put out joyfulness and I get it right back. What do you want coming back to you?
Please also revisit a recent related post, "giving is good for your health."
inspirational food
Food can be inspiring in so many ways, and this is the perfect time of year to relish your relationship with it. Food is such a fundamental aspect of aliveness. During the week, when dinner preparations are often rushed, food is more nourishment than mindful celebration. But during the holidays, when we make time to shop, prepare, invite, and share, food becomes special in so many ways. Let me count the ways.
Then food is festive and cultural. We relate specific holidays with specific food traditions, family traditions, cultural traditions, and also ethnic traditions, and it becomes festive when it's special and prepared with great care and mindfulness. The English have their Christmas turkey, Americans their Thanksgiving turkey and pumpkin pie, the French their Christmas oysters and foie gras - they are all special, festive foods because we said so. Our stories and memories (and their cost) have made them so. Being German, hazelnuts have a distinct Christmas taste to me because of all the German Christmas baking that involves roasted hazelnuts. Our amusing family tradition is to drink Coca Cola while we decorate the Christmas tree, the only time of year I'll buy and drink Coke (I'll spare you the history) - so now I find Coca Cola festive (and it can't be Pepsi). And for once it's a cheap treat. My husband's Italian family traditionally made the special Christmas Eve fish dinner. That is festive to them because it's the only time of year those recipes are prepared. What is your special holiday tradition?
Abundance of food on the holiday table, even though we are no longer hunter-gatherers who don't quite know where our next meal will come from, is still important for many of us, although we now live in times of overabundance and overindulgence. While most of you who read this are not wanting, it's good to be aware of, and grateful for, all this plenty. How reassuring and wonderful that we have more than enough food. I love leftovers, the result of all that abundance. As the leftovers disappear from the fridge, so the memories of that special meal recede slowly into the everydayness.
Conviviality during holiday times is perhaps the most important food related aspect I connect with. Those without family around can become depressed because they know everyone else is gathering with family and friends and they are left out. You can make a lonesome person truly happy by including them around your family table. My mother-in-law used to always invite a lonely mystery guest or two. Being with family and friends around a table and sharing delicious food is simply warm and fuzzy, the best.
Then there are those expensive and exclusive specialty items you wouldn't serve at a regular dinner party - oysters, lobster, that special roast or meat cut, tiny jewel like vegetables, that exquisite dessert. This holiday season eat deeply, with an awareness of all these many wonderful aspects surrounding your food experiences. It will make your memories richer.
powering down
"Den Computer herunterfahren," means shutting down the computer. However, the literal translation from German to English is "to drive it down." Just like a computer powers down slowly - you hear it doing all kinds of internal things for a while before it actually shuts down for good - we need in-between spaces between high-powered activities and slower ones. A normal mortal can't go directly from a corporate meeting into meditation. Neither can we go from work mode to evening mode, or from evening mode to sleep mode, without a gradual slowing down mechanism. Otherwise the more frenetic frequency bleeds into the slower activity, and prevents us from being fully present in the now, like when my husband's work experiences from the day keep popping up in our evening conversation.
After I shut my computer for the day I create a transition period by sitting down and looking at the newspaper, perhaps having a sip of tea, before going into dinner prep mode. Before turning the lights off and going to sleep I usually read in bed, if only for a few minutes, just to slow down further. Before beginning a meditation you slowly and gradually turn inward by becoming more aware of your breath and turning away from external stimuli.
You probably need the same in-between space in the morning to power up, whether it's your coffee ritual, your wake-up shower, or the morning commute that takes you out of home mode into work mode.
It's good to become aware of these transition modes, to traverse them with awareness, and enjoy the powering up or down. It helps to transition from one particular Now into the next particular Now without having a foot left in the last Now.
delicious words
Words can be expressive beyond their attributed meaning. While we associate a specific meaning with the word flour, the word itself is not exactly remarkable. But there are words beyond those mundane ones like flour, or dog, or tree.
An onomatopoeia is the first kind of word that comes to mind when I'm thinking of fun words, delicious words, words that taste good in my mouth when I say them out loud, or that are delightful in my mind when I read them. An onomatopoeia is a word based on the sound it expresses. Yikes is such a word - it sounds like lightening strikes. When you hear meow you can imagine that cute kitty sidling up to your leg and talking to you, and you can hear that croaking frog croaking when you read the word ribbit.
Of course there are synonyms for the word delicious, and they are delicious in their own right. Taste them in your mouth, slowly - luscious, scrumptious, or ambrosial.
Then there are delicious words that convey such a wonderful experiences that I call them delicious. Enjoy these words for wonderful feelings - exuberant, tickled, giddy, glorious, euphoric, on cloud nine, in seventh heaven, elated, and enraptured. Wouldn't you want to feel like that? Now savor some words for wonderful sights - exquisite, fantastic, stupendous, wondrous, and sublime. Just leaves me speechless....
To close, here are words of mysterious meaning because they are so uncommon that we don't know them, hence can't use them. Enjoy these funny sounding words - absquatulate, bobsy-die, floccinaucinihilipilification, haruspex, kinnikinnick, luculent, ogdoad, peely-wally, snollygoster, and finally triskaidekaphobia. Just delicious....