trust and surrender

Since March 2020 I haven’t felt particularly productive with all this anxiety around the virus, partisan politics and all the social suffering, the accelerating effects of climate change and our collective hesitance to act decisively.  That anxious energy is all around and difficult to escape.  Hence, I haven’t yet had the motivation to write that “other cookbook” that’s been germinating in my mind.  Just like a pregnancy, the cicada cycle, or a sour dough can’t be rushed, an incubation period, personal or societal, takes its own time.  Unfolding takes time. Sometimes it goes fast, sometimes not so much.  

Patience and trust are difficult for us because they require surrender, and surrender runs counter the ego’s need to manipulate and feel in control.  In addition, patience is a challenge because technology has trained us to expect speedy results and resolutions.  Hence, patience runs counter to our culture.  My ego thinks it knows better than my soul and that creates internal struggle and doubt.  “I’m supposed to be writing this book, the idea is already there!”  “But I’m not inspired, the motivation is just not there.”  “Time is money, what am I waiting for?”  “I know, I know.”

If we can only trust ours and the universe’s wisdom in the process of unfolding, resist the urge to try to speed things up, and instead watch what wants to happen, it would promote a greater sense of peace with what currently is.  Things are less predictable than we want them to be.  Trying to force things to happen when they “don’t want to happen yet” is not productive.  This, I need to lean into my own advice to surrender, trust, and be patient.  

What is your experience with watching a process unfold with patience?