no one likes to lose

win win winAccording to our current cultural thinking if I want to win I have to take it away from you.  Our economic culture of lack has conditioned us to think that there is not enough, that you have to have less if I want to have more. This thinking brought forth the survival of the fittest misnomer of how nature supposedly works - although nature is really a lot more complex and cooperative than that. This belief system - and that's all it is! - has also brought forth a host of competitive games and sports that always create one loser and one winner. Imagine if we could all win? Imagine if no one had to lose? We wouldn't have to explain away our crummy feelings when we are losing with "being a good loser." Losing makes you feel crummy. No one likes to lose!  Don't kid yourself or your kids.

The better way is called cooperation over competition, working out solutions that work for you and me, not just for me. It may require a concession, it may require my coming a bit your way or vice versa. But what's so bad about that if we can both win?win win

When we sold our house last year we had a price in mind we wanted to get. But the market said otherwise. We could have insisted, and sat on our house some more, and waited for that illusory "winning" sale. Instead, we went with the flow. We sold for a bit less, we sold exactly when we needed to, we sold to the one buyer who really wanted our house - in the end we all won.