you are the center of the universe

"Life's not coming at you but from you," Aura Lehrer my yoga teacher said recently.  This is something quite amazing to ponder because it turns the way we  perceive ourselves in relationship to the world upside down.  We tend to have the  impression that we are a victim, that people are there to make our life miserable, that stuff happens just to annoy us to no end.  It's the blame attitude.  When we are in that mode everyone else seems responsible for our misery. Oftentimes I have waited at a party (when I don't know a lot of people) for someone to come up to me and start a conversation, in which case I didn't have such a good time.  Recently I went to a function and just walked up to people, re- or introduced myself, and engaged in conversation...and lo and behold I had a great time.  I was the initiator of my experience, I made the good time happen instead of waiting for someone else to make it happen for me.

So back to this fantastic phrase - what you put out there comes back to you, when you put nothing out, nothing much comes back.  In a way you are the center of the universe and it all emanates from you!

the first snow

We are home awaiting the first snow of the season (2-5 inches they say). When we lived in Manhattan (way back when) I used to love snow days (and nights) because the snow would muffle the city sounds and the city would become quiet.  But also because the snow would cover all the dark of the cityscape, all the dirt, with a pristine white blanket (at least for a short period of time).

Snow days are a bit different now, but the essence is still the same.  Snow days are happy days for children (of all ages, mine aren't so little anymore), they sleep in, lounge around in pajamas, go out to play in the snow.  For me it's still work but with the knowledge that I can't get out for a quick yoga lesson or some Christmas shopping, worrying that hubby will get home safe (he only stays in if it's really bad), some snow shoveling with the kids and then warming up with hot cocoa and playing Christmas music.  Ah, and Christmas card writing, a perfect day for it.

Snow days quiet the world down, slow our pace, beautify the brown-gray winter landscape.  Snow days are a reminder to stop rushing and smell the roses (or feel the snow) - a gift from heaven.

the significance of animals in our life

Since the death of our beloved cat this past summer I have been pondering our relationships with animals in general, and more specifically through my relationship with our cats.  I have read several books on communication with animals since then because I really see a soul when I look into an animal's eyes (a cow's on a walk, a deer's in a field, a lion's in a zoo, a horse in a stable), the same way we see it in people  - you have probably heard the saying "the eyes are the mirror of the soul."  Well, it's as true for animals as it is for humans (and why would it be different anyhow?).

It is telling to watch people interacting with their pets.   Amelia Kinkade, the noted animal communicator, writes in her book The Language of Miracles "The animals are here to facilitate our enlightenment through their unconditional love."  Some people get it, some not so much yet.

While I by no means pretend to be able to communicate with our cats, I totally get that you can tune into them by becoming silent (.....quieting the mind as in meditation or simply tuning in and tuning other stuff out) and learning it the way we would learn Spanish or Russian.  It is a matter of practicing and a matter of applying the appropriate techniques.  You wouldn't try to learn to speak Spanish by practicing scales or chopping up onions.

What astonished me most from reading this particular book is how well developed animals' emotional lives are, and how precisely they are able to communicate to anyone who is able to listen - on how they are being treated, on what they prefer to eat, on their own and even their owner's state of health, on their preferred toys, on the layout of the place where they live, on the family dynamics of their host family, even everyone's names.  Quite amazing.

I am so much more careful now with how I interact with the cats after reading this book because I realize that they are more aware than you would ever believe it - a total eye-opener.

no Me Generation

Turns out that Generation Y is very different from the Me Generation, the baby boomers.  The NY Times reported in a recent article that Generation Y, those born after 1980, are more into quality of life and less into financial success - quality over quantity.  "Meaning" and "making a difference" are terms that come up.  Meaningfulness for these millenials is associated with "other-orientation" as well as giving, as opposed to egocentrism and personal gain.  The term ecocentrism (as in ecosystem, in contrast to egocentrism) has also been used for those who think "green," who care about doing what's good for all and nature vs. what's just good for oneself.  This is a real shift and in sync with the shift or rise in consciousness we have been told is underway.  These convictions will have huge implications on our culture and politics.

Fasten your seat belts!  Move to the side boomers!

let's talk turkey

Since everyone else will be writing about thankfulness I will write about another aspect that comes up with a lot family togetherness, and that is communication. Communication and conversation can be learned and cultivated.  Yet, when we get together with family members on special occasions we tend to replay old relationship records, and those don't always make for the best communication patterns.

Oftentimes we know what sets off certain close relatives.  Some people thrive on the controversy that arises when we push each others' buttons, others look for an expected reaction, sometimes we just operate from a groove we have been grinding deeper and deeper, a relationship groove in acting out and perpetuating certain roles.  Philip Galanes of the NY Times responded to just such a query in a recent column and recommended adding some new faces to the Thanksgiving people mix to change the chemistry around.

A really good exercise is to put yourself in the other person's shoes because we usually operate from our own emotional needs (not the other person's, we are so egocentric).  When I get upset because a family member put the toilet paper roll in the "wrong" way I am upset at my own unmet need for the toilet paper roll to hang my way, so the paper hangs down the front (and is easier to grab).  So it goes with all our communications and emotional reactions.

In the practice of nonviolent or compassionate communication (which takes a long long time to get used to, practice and acquire because it goes so against the grain of our culture) we try to understand and address the other person's emotional needs and where they come from when they speak.  Something to think about when we sit around the turkey table tomorrow.

beautiful gift wrap

A relative of mine wasn't much into gift wrapping. As a matter of fact, sometimes she'd come with a bag full of Christmas presents and ask me to wrap them for her because she knew I enjoyed doing it. Why bother with wrapping a present? The short answer is to make magic. The long answer goes something like this. Although we suppress our childlike enthusiasm later in life too often we love surprises (that's for the recipient) and we like to play (that's for the giver who gets to wrap), and we also enjoy watching the look of joy and surprise on the recipient's face.  Besides, most of us enjoy beautiful things.

I think a beautifully wrapped present increases in its inherent value manyfold. A little trinket can become downright precious with the right wrapping. I guess I shouldn't say this too loudly - but I oftentimes buy relatively inexpensive presents (quality of course, no junk! perhaps something on sale, perhaps something small, perhaps a homemade food item) and make it look really special and precious with creative gift wrapping. It's the thought and the intent behind the gift that counts more than what the item's price tag is.

The Japanese - who have a very well developed sense of aesthetics - have perfected the art of gift wrapping. One way is to wrap presents in cloth, that art is called furoshiki. They also have a special way with paper, called tsutsumi.

When Christmas comes around and I need to wrap lots and lots of presents I make a special event out of it for myself; some Christmas music, all of the paper, ribbons, gift tags and accessories spread on the floor and table, a cup of tea or a glass of wine - and then I create and wrap. I get to play and make it all look beautiful, and the recipient gets eye candy.  It's another quality of life idea.  Enjoyment all around.

food as fuel???

nutrition label

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According to the scientific and mechanistic worldview this culture has subscribed to for the past three hundred or so years food is not much more than fuel in form of calories that can be described on a nutritional label in terms of its scientific components.  How sad and simplistic!  How unromantic and incomplete! According to the holistic model food is nourishment for body and spirit in so many ways.   According to this model quality is more important than quantification.  It matters what you eat, it matters in what circumstances and company you eat, it matters how your food was grown or raised, it matters whether your food is fresh or processed, it matters whether you enjoy your food or not, it matters how you relate to it.  It becomes a complex and multi- faceted approach.

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Guess which model is more fun, more enjoyable, more meaningful and ultimately more healthy?

Please also read a previous related post.

How a Holistic Approach to Food Can Lead to a Holistic Approach to Life

 

Please join us at Pleasant Stone Farm in Middletown on Tuesday, November 19th at 7:00pm

Consider your own relationship with food.   Do you love it, savor it, feel good about it, and does it nourish your soul? Or is it perhaps riddled with guilt, confusion, or questions and misgivings about the state of our food?

Susanne Meyer-Fitzsimmons, a holistic adventurer and writer, will discuss the creation of a deeper dialogue between us, our bodies and our food, which is too often non-existent or dysfunctional, and how this dialogue can open our awareness to a more holistic way of living on many other levels.  Susanne will share her experiences of growing up in a different food culture from which her passion for food arose, discuss holistic ways to positively engage with it and create a conversation that may enhance your relationship with food as a gateway to a more holistic lifestyle.

The event is free but we do ask that you register. Please call Pleasant Stone Farm: 845-343-3040.

what the heck is kernza?

You might ask what the heck Kernza is?  It's about sustainable agriculture.   Sustainable means in short eternally renewable from within, which is without bringing in outside products.

We almost take for granted the annual winter seed buying ritual from seed catalogs.  But I always thought that buying those decorative annuals for the garden was a bit of a waste, compared to perennials that come up every year again, no worries, no money, no effort.  Wouldn't it be nice if our wheat came up every year again?  No buying seeds, no sowing, no tilling, less effort, less money.  Researchers have been working on exactly that: developing perennial varieties of our staple cereals, and Kernza is one of them.

This is thinking more in terms of permaculture (please read my previous post on it), a perennial polyculture, which is what most ecosystems look like as Mark Bittman explains in a recent article:  "In perennial polyculture, the plants may fertilize one another, physically support one another, ward off pests and diseases together, resist drought and flood, and survive even when one member suffers."  How does that sound for a wonderfully cooperative plant community?  No Darwin here.

You can start small in your own garden by saving seeds from this year's harvest for next year's planting instead of relying on the big seed companies; or look for a local seed library for some interesting heirloom varieties.  Local seed libraries  (see Hudson Valley Seed Library) work collaboratively and require you to bring back some of your own seeds to keep the library replenished.

Think in renewable cycles.

it's never too late to tune in

I recently attended an orchid information and care workshop because I find those flowers so sculpturally beautiful.  People have given me orchids in the past and I have tremendously enjoyed the long blooming (up to three months).  However, the plants either did not survive at my hands, or if they did they did not rebloom.   It did not sit well with me that I basically cared them to death and I thought I could do better, especially since people told me that they were pretty easy to care for.

single phalaenopsis bloom

Wake-up time it was.  The solution was so simple, yet  it hadn't even occurred to me.  My mind had not been open, I had not tuned in.  Now that I did I found out that the plants need fertilizer on a regular basis besides water and light (and repotting every two years).  Oh boy!  Food!  The poor things did not get any food!

Wake-up time can happen anytime, it's a shift in thinking.  But we can also promote it by tuning in, focusing on a particular area of interest or concern, and delving deeper.   The answer will come, and then we wonder how we could ever not have considered this new view.